Wow, what a week. I wonder if you can relate… a client (I am going to call her Kate)… was struggling with a female friend who was being mean to her. Sometimes girlfriends can really hurt your feelings and Kate felt that stab in the back just one too many times.
Kate’s schedule is filled with kids, husband, job and health challenges. This week I learned a lot from Kate. She cares a lot about her friends, maybe a little too much. I see that she’s friend who never says no, so everyone knows who to call when they need cookies sold or someone to drive the car pool.
I wonder if you would respond like she did, and laugh right out loud when I told her to step back from some of her responsibilities, so she could open up more space to take care of herself.
“Ha!” (she actually giggled), “Who will pick up the slack?”
Sound familiar? I can so relate, I have been betrayed. I have had women I trusted with my life twist a knife and destroy hopes and dreams. I know exactly what it feels like to trust no one.
That is why I created The Clubhouse, so Kate and others like her have an inexpensive place to go when there is no place to go.
As for Kate, she’s working on not taking things so personally and how to say an honest NO.
How about you, have you ever been betrayed? Maybe there is something going on right now that is heartbreaking. Before you freak out, take a deep breath and listen in.
Feeling like quitting or running away is normal. Especially for someone who has not known many kind people in their lives. If you are feeling like pulling back from a friendship, maybe you are supposed to. Your heart will tell you.
In the meantime, I have a couple of suggestions for you, which may help you move forward:
1. Color with your non-dominant hand. I know this is weird. It was for me when I first started for sure. Now I love it. My coach (that’s right, I have a coach too) taught me that my brain can be trained to stay calm and that coloring with my non-dominant hand makes calm happen. A calm brain always makes better decisions and finds answers to problems.
2. Journal in conversational form to yourself: Ask yourself, “What is bothering me?” and then answer your own question. You will be surprised at the thoughts that will occur to you. If you want to make it super powerful, try asking by writing with your dominant hand and answering by using your non-dominant hand. Grab some tissues for this one.
3. Write yourself a letter: What? Yes! Write a letter to yourself from the friend who has hurt your feelings. Have her apologize to you in this imaginary letter and have her kiss your royal bottom. (This can be a very powerful way to look at your issues from a different vantage point and also helps open the mind up to other possibilities.)
One more thing, if you are really struggling because someone has betrayed you, I would love to help you. Click here to email me and we can set up a no cost 15-minute call so I can help you figure out what is going on. That's just a thought.
Hang in there, I believe in you. I hope you found this helpful and believe me when I say you are truly a valuable part of my Coloring Book World!
NOTE: For High jinks, Shenanigans and Magic, join me in The Coloring Book Clubhouse, all inclusive coaching community for colorists around the world.
Saying NO is hard for people. You get so caught up worrying about hurting someone’s feelings or anticipating their reactions, that you compromise yourself over and over again.
How many times have you gone along with something that was not a YES for you just to keep the peace or keep a friend or family member happy.
News flash! You’re not really keeping the peace (and the peace I’m referring to is your own) and I’d also say you’re also being a dishonest friend and/or family member.
Saying an honest no (or yes) ultimately means being TRUE TO YOU without worrying about what the other person may think or how they might respond. It’s about saying what’s true for you in any given moment.
It’s knowing that saying NO doesn’t mean you don’t care about or love someone, it’s that you care about and love yourself first and you respect your own feelings and ultimately, yourself.
When you say an honest NO, it is an honest YES to you and also for the other person because they are being given the gift of hearing from the authentic you, and that is powerful.
The next time you know you need to say NO, but are’t quite sure how to do it, refer to this list for some great ways you can say a sincere NO. (Note: Some of these come from The Work of Byron Katie, of which I’m a trained facilitator).
What other ways can you think of to say No? Let me know in the comments!
This blog series is part of a package of perks enjoyed by Members of The Coloring Book Clubhouse, along with Monthly Teleseminar Workshops, a 24/7 live stream Clubhouse and other benefits.
Enjoy this gift of the corresponding 30-minute teleseminar on The Power of No, along with two coloring sheets.
Note: Directions for the coloring pages are in the teleseminar.
Wondering how you can heal your heart and find your NO through coloring? Click here
Download your two coloring pages below:
Today, I"m celebrating the launch of The Case of the Missing Sparkle, a Coloring/Coaching Adventure!
This is the latest in my new line of products designed to To Use Coloring To Heal Your Heart and it grew out of a very interesting experiment suggested by Catherine Behan, Life Coach Extraordinaire.
She gave me an assignment to draw with my left hand for 21 days! Twenty-one days drawing only with the wrong hand! I thought she was nuts! But, I was also game to give it a try...what did I have to lose?
So I started my mission to draw something every day with my non-dominant hand. I admit I had some resistance and missed a couple of days and had to start over. However, during those 30 or so days, something magical started to happen .... things started to shift and change in my life in delightful and interesting ways. I started to think that maybe Catherine was onto something! lol
The Case of The Missing Sparkle grew out of that exercise. And, all the art is drawn with my left hand.
Now, let me tell you another thing! I was NOT excited to be sharing my left-handed artwork, which in my opinion, looked like someone drew it with, well, the wrong hand!
Then I realized how many benefits I received while I was drawing. Some of my drawings really surprised me and a few of them are pretty darn cute, so there we go....The Case of the Missing Sparkle was born!
I invite you to download the free book and follow the seven clues as it leads you on a fun, different and exciting coloring and coaching adventure! And, I'm very curious about your results, so please feel free to email me with anything you discover at TheColoringBookCoach@gmail.com
In honor of the experiment that turned into a book, I'm offering a 48-Hour Only Membership Special in The Coloring Book Clubhouse, which includes a lot of great benefits! You can join during this time period for the Introductory Price of $11.11 for THREE MONTHS (regularly $11.11 per month). People are saying it's a fun place to make new friends and find positive and encouraging support.
So, enjoy your FREE coloring/coaching adventure and I hope to see you hanging out with us in the Clubhouse soon!
Welcome ladies and gents! Please feel free to leave your sh*t right here! Seriously! This is the place to put all the stuff that drives you crazy and no one else really wants to hear about? You've come to the right place, my friend. Welcome to the Grump Dump. Right here, right now.
Feel free to share whatever is on your mind....you know the stuff that your friends, family, and maybe even your cat is rolling his eyes when you start to talk about it,that's what you want to leave right here ...at the Grump Dump. It's the place for all the crap you no longer need to talk about or carry around.
So, leave your crappola right here.
Note: Members of The Coloring Book Clubhouse receive an Exclusive, Private, Password-Protected Version of the Grump Dump, which includes the option of emailing your Grump and other special features.
THE COLORING BOOK COACH
Kim A. Flodin