How to fall in love with yourself toolkit - november 2019 - believe in yourself
Hello and welcome to how to fall in love with yourself toolkit for the month of November, 2019 this is an exciting month with some great themes.
The overall theme for this month is one of my favorite sentiments, which is believe in yourself. It all starts there, people. Unless you believe in yourself, you're not really going to be able to accomplish too much is got to believe in yourself. So just remember, you've got this, you can do this and you're amazing.
Let's move into what's happening now for the month of November. The first week of this month runs from Sunday, November 3rd and ends on Saturday. The ninth. The theme for this week is you must give up the life you planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you. That's a quote actually from Joseph Campbell. So let's unpack that a little bit.
The first thing that really comes to my mind is there's a great saying that if you want to make God laugh, make plans. Because truly how many times have you planned something and it went exactly as planned. I really can't think of anything that I've done that has gone exactly as planned, but I'm kind of glad that things don't go exactly as planned because you know, variety is the spice of life and when things go awry it is a chance for you to rise up and shine and deal with it, right?
It's not really what's going wrong. That is such a problem. It's how we react to it.
So what Joseph Campbell is saying is basically give up the life you've planned and look at what's waiting for you. I think we all get up every day with certain plans and we, if we're planning too much, we can actually miss what's actually happening in our lives.
I know for me personally, one of the things I really try to do every day is go outside and just be outside in nature for, you know, 10 to 15 minutes a day without my phone, without anything else. Just sit and think, or look at the clouds, watch the wind, blow, listen to the birds, whatever it is. Just take some time out for yourself to, you know, to be open to what's actually occurring around you because there's so much going on and a lot more going on than we ever think.
It's okay if you give up the life you've planned because there is a life that's waiting for you.
This first week of this month might be just a great time to kind of think about maybe what, what can you give up, what can you give up and what can you open yourself to.
The second week of the month runs from Sunday, November 10th through Saturday the 16th. The theme for this week is expect nothing, appreciate everything and watch your life change.
You know, I have another saying that I like to say is,expectations will fuck you up. It's true. Anytime we're having an expectation of something that doesn't go our way, this kinda harks back to week one and it can really screw us up. And a lot of times what I've noticed is I have expectations when I didn't even know I had expectations. I'll get somewhere and realize, oh my God, I, I didn't even know I was thinking about this, but this isn't what I thought was going to be happening. So that's what I mean by expectations can fuck you up.
But if you can find it clear, if you can find a way clear to lose your expectations and just be super open to what's occurring and what's happening in your life, it can be amazing. Then if you really want to ramp this up, start to appreciate everything that's happening.
There's always something happening for you. It's rarely, rarely happening to you. I don't know if it's ever happening to you. I think it's always happening for us actually.
But if you can appreciate everything, I guarantee you by dropping expectations, really focusing on appreciation, you will watch your life change, your life will change.
So it's a powerful week and combined with the theme of believing in yourself. You could really see some things happen this week.
Moving into our third week, which runs from Sunday, November 17th through Saturday, the 23rd the theme this week is what are the infinite possibilities for something different to show up in my life.
I love how this month is just hanging together with kind of a common theme because you know, possibilities are infinite and anything can show up and if we apply the rule from the previous week to expect nothing but appreciate everything when something different does show up and we appreciate it, it can be a real game changer.
Plus don't lock yourself in thinking that you're just able to do X, Y, Z because truly we have infinite possibilities in life. We all know this where we've been chugging along in one direction and all of a sudden something occurs in our life that we did not see coming and we're off in a different direction and managing it. So you can do this. Just be open to those infinite possibilities for something different to show up when you release your expectations. It really opens up space for infinite possibilities to show up right now in your life.
Keep an eye out during this third week of November because you just don't know what's going to happen.
And then we have the last week of the month, which runs from Sunday, November 24th through the 30th Saturday and includes Thanksgiving.
I kinda love the saying for this week, the theme, which is don't look back. You're not going that way. Don't look back. That is so true. I mean, we all have a tendency to look back and see what's gone on and lament over things that could have been different or wish we could have changed something. But you know what? That's all great. But that's not where you're going. You've already been there.
So this week don't bother looking back. You're not going that way. Let's just look forward. Believe that we can remember that we can believe in ourselves and just know that things are okay and we can be open to what's happening and we don't need to look back anymore.
A lot of times looking back, it can be painful. We can get caught up in feelings of regret, shame, blame, anger, whatever that isn't helpful for where you're at right now.
If you are a person that does that to yourself, I'm going to say one of the things that I recommend is spending time in nature, head outside, sit under a tree for 15 minutes, look around, take in life. life is happening and what's already happened is what's already happened.
That's it for this month. Have a great November and if you really want to up your game and really change your life, I have something called the Superwoman Sessions. It's a four-week program based on my coloring book journal called, You've Got This Superwoman, which will change your life. There's so many benefits.
Plus it's super fun. You can take time out for yourself to participate in something fun and beneficial that you don't have to plan for yourself. The benefits include finding a renewed sense of accountability and accomplishment for yourself as you step forward and take positive steps to support yourself and care for yourself.
Every week you'll find personalized cheerleaders and new friends for support and tough times. There's reasons to take care of yourself and nurture yourself. It's a safe place and it's just really a lot of fun.
It's a four week session. I do it with three people at a time and we meet for an hour once a week for four weeks. And it's amazing.
One of the things, and this is really worth the price of admission, is you will learn how to say no easily and effortlessly without shame or second guessing. Because guess what? A note to someone else is a yes to you. So say yes to yourself and consider doing a Superwoman Session.
Anybody who signs up now during the month of November will receive a free printed copy of You've Got This Superwoman, the coloring book journal, which we use in the class. And that book is about 240 pages. So it's a, it's a really cool coloring book journal.
Subscribe to the podcast here!
WHEN WE KNOW BETTER, WE DO BETTER
I just had an interesting exchange on social media with someone I've known for a long time but don't know well. This person was sharing that they are really pissed off about something that happened a long time ago. I don't believe it happened to them personally, but they somehow decided to take it personally.
I get it. We all get pissed off by things we hear about or read about... and it's okay to be angry as long as you do something with that anger. Anger is a great catalyst for action... and sadly, it's also a great catalyst for, well, more anger.
It's like the old saying " Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. - Buddha"
My point is why hold onto it year after year after year? Why let a coal sit and burn in your soul like that? Who are you hurting? You are hurting you! If you're pissed off, do something about it - use it to guide you to constructive action, don't let it simmer forever... nobody needs that. Not you, not the people around you.
Also, if you're pissed at someone for something they supposedly did in the past, I advise you (and I'm talking to myself as well) to look at what you're pissed at them for exactly and find a time when you probably did the same exact thing!
For instance, if I'm pissed off about something someone said that I disagree with, I sure as hell can find where I've done that about a million times. I've judged people and said things that didn't need to be said and thankfully, I now have tools that help me let that shit go! And I can tell you, it's amazing when you do that!
It comes down to this: When we know better, we do better. Belief systems and people can change and sometimes it only takes an instant! I know that and so do you... remember that thing you were so sure of which turned out NOT at all like you thought? Yep, you saw it differently and realized you were wrong and hopefully you changed!
One thing I know for use is that everyone is capable of change. And, in fact that is the only constant - I am not the same person I was exactly 5 years ago and I bet you're not either. But to judge someone on something that happened in the past especially if they themselves have offered that maybe they could have done better only hurts you.... you are losing the chance to know them and to learn from what they've learned.
It's okay to be angry... but do you really need to carry that hot piece of coal around?
If you think this all sounds nuts, that's okay... or if you realize you might have some anger lying around that is burning you, let me know... I have several techniques to help you let that shit go! Email firstname.lastname@example.org and let's work together to clear that coal and heal those burns.
Kim A. Flodin
Wise Woman of the Woods
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