Wow, what a week. I wonder if you can relate… a client (I am going to call her Kate)… was struggling with a female friend who was being mean to her. Sometimes girlfriends can really hurt your feelings and Kate felt that stab in the back just one too many times.
Kate’s schedule is filled with kids, husband, job and health challenges. This week I learned a lot from Kate. She cares a lot about her friends, maybe a little too much. I see that she’s friend who never says no, so everyone knows who to call when they need cookies sold or someone to drive the car pool.
I wonder if you would respond like she did, and laugh right out loud when I told her to step back from some of her responsibilities, so she could open up more space to take care of herself.
“Ha!” (she actually giggled), “Who will pick up the slack?”
Sound familiar? I can so relate, I have been betrayed. I have had women I trusted with my life twist a knife and destroy hopes and dreams. I know exactly what it feels like to trust no one.
That is why I created The Clubhouse, so Kate and others like her have an inexpensive place to go when there is no place to go.
As for Kate, she’s working on not taking things so personally and how to say an honest NO.
How about you, have you ever been betrayed? Maybe there is something going on right now that is heartbreaking. Before you freak out, take a deep breath and listen in.
Feeling like quitting or running away is normal. Especially for someone who has not known many kind people in their lives. If you are feeling like pulling back from a friendship, maybe you are supposed to. Your heart will tell you.
In the meantime, I have a couple of suggestions for you, which may help you move forward:
1. Color with your non-dominant hand. I know this is weird. It was for me when I first started for sure. Now I love it. My coach (that’s right, I have a coach too) taught me that my brain can be trained to stay calm and that coloring with my non-dominant hand makes calm happen. A calm brain always makes better decisions and finds answers to problems.
2. Journal in conversational form to yourself: Ask yourself, “What is bothering me?” and then answer your own question. You will be surprised at the thoughts that will occur to you. If you want to make it super powerful, try asking by writing with your dominant hand and answering by using your non-dominant hand. Grab some tissues for this one.
3. Write yourself a letter: What? Yes! Write a letter to yourself from the friend who has hurt your feelings. Have her apologize to you in this imaginary letter and have her kiss your royal bottom. (This can be a very powerful way to look at your issues from a different vantage point and also helps open the mind up to other possibilities.)
One more thing, if you are really struggling because someone has betrayed you, I would love to help you. Click here to email me and we can set up a no cost 15-minute call so I can help you figure out what is going on. That's just a thought.
Hang in there, I believe in you. I hope you found this helpful and believe me when I say you are truly a valuable part of my Coloring Book World!
NOTE: For High jinks, Shenanigans and Magic, join me in The Coloring Book Clubhouse, all inclusive coaching community for colorists around the world.
Kim A. Flodin
Wise Woman of the Woods
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